Balancing self-worth, career challenges, and loyalty to professional networks.
SINGAPORE: A 28-year-old man turned to social media this week to share his distress just four days into a new job, sparking a debate about whether he should quit or persevere.
“Miserable 4 days into new job. [Should I] leave or not leave?” he wrote on r/askSingapore on Wednesday (Mar 20). The man revealed that while friends encouraged him to quit and “cut his losses,” his parents urged him to tough it out.
Although his new role pays 40% more than his previous job, the man described feeling completely overwhelmed by the steep learning curve. Working in the built-environment industry, he found that his responsibilities were drastically different from his previous experience. Within three days, he grasped only 5% of the briefings and contracts, leaving him demoralized.
To make matters worse, his senior colleague was soon departing, and his peers seemed distant and unhelpful. “The learning curve feels almost vertical,” he added, expressing frustration with the lack of camaraderie.
A Crossroads with Opportunity
Despite his struggles, the man has a potential job offer that better aligns with his interests and offers similar pay. However, he hesitates to accept it, fearing he might disappoint the acquaintance who referred him to his current role.
Singaporean Redditors offered mixed advice. Many suggested staying at least a month out of respect for the referrer, emphasizing how quitting too soon might reflect poorly on the person who vouched for him. Others sympathized with his situation, acknowledging that feeling lost and overwhelmed is common during the early stages of any job.
One commenter noted, “Someone stuck their head out for you and then you quit in such a short time—it might not look good for the referrer.”
Another shared a similar experience in the civil service, where unclear expectations and minimal training left them unprepared for months. “You are paid to ‘make things happen.’ The quality doesn’t matter as long as you can deliver the minimum,” they explained.
Coping with Early Job Stress
For those grappling with new-job blues, experts recommend several strategies to ease the transition:
Build relationships: Getting to know co-workers can provide support and foster a sense of belonging.
Prioritize well-being: Exercise, music, and mindfulness activities during breaks can alleviate negative emotions.
Sleep and routine: Adequate rest and a structured schedule can enhance mood and productivity.
Seek help: If stress becomes overwhelming, consult a doctor or mental health professional.
As the man deliberates his next steps, his dilemma highlights the broader challenges young professionals face when navigating the balance between career progression, personal well-being, and loyalty to their networks.
