The Challenges of Parenting Amidst a Pandemic
Covid-19 numbers have become a mundane part of our lives, especially after nearly three years of exposure. What used to cause panic over single-digit increases in cases has shifted to a more casual acceptance, particularly as we adapt to an endemic mindset reminiscent of pre-pandemic times. These days, a positive test might be perceived as a mere ticket for a day off rather than a serious health concern—until those double lines appear on a test meant for an infant.
“I thought she was going to die,” recalls Kassie*, a 30-year-old civil servant and new mother, as she reflects on her daughter Allie’s positive Covid-19 test in November 2021. Just over a month old, Allie had recently been discharged from the hospital, and suddenly, they were on their way back for treatment. Although Allie seemed fine during the swab, she developed nasal congestion that left her gasping for air, necessitating admission to the intensive care unit at KK Women’s and Children’s Hospital.
Within the sterile walls of the hospital, Kassie was left with only Allie’s sleeping figure for comfort. With only one caregiver allowed at a time, the rest of her family was forced to stay home, compounding her isolation, especially as her husband’s cousins and her mother were also battling the virus. In her rush, Kassie had packed only a change of clothes and a few days’ worth of milk powder before the ambulance whisked them away.
“I was overwhelmed with panic. I had no idea how long we would be there or what was going to happen,” she admits.
Mummy Blues Meet Covid Blues
Watching Allie struggle to breathe and endure painful tests felt like a knife twisting in Kassie’s heart. Postpartum depression made the experience even more difficult, and the frustration of feeling helpless compounded her emotional turmoil. The sounds of Allie’s labored breathing echoed with the cries of children from neighboring rooms, amplifying the chaos within her.
Despite the emotional burden, Kassie tried to remain strong for her family. “You can’t help but ask, ‘How did this happen?’ but deep down, you know nobody wanted this to occur.” Instead of succumbing to despair, Kassie returned to breastfeeding, striving to support Allie. She arranged for her breast pump to be sent to the hospital and had nutritious papaya milk delivered daily to boost her milk production.
Kassie felt fortunate to be in the hospital, where nurses regularly checked on them and assisted with Allie’s care. Unlike her earlier confinement, she found comfort in knowing experienced hands were there to help.
‘I Really Wanted to Give Up’
Stephanie faced an even greater challenge, managing two Covid-positive children. Five days after her mother tested positive in February, Stephanie woke with a scratchy throat. The next day, her six-month-old daughter developed a high fever, and soon after, her two-year-old niece tested positive.
To minimize exposure, the family self-isolated in her parents’ apartment while the rest of the household continued their routines. This arrangement meant that Stephanie and her mother had to care for both children alone. The fatigue brought on by the omicron variant weighed heavily on Stephanie, who was already sleep-deprived and grappling with a sore throat.
Her daughter required constant attention, needing to be latched to sleep, while her niece clamored to be held as well. The challenges of caring for two young children felt insurmountable, and sleep came infrequently. Nighttime was a chaotic cycle of crying and comfort, leaving little room for rest.
As her niece struggled to understand the situation, she became increasingly frustrated, yearning for her mother and expressing her desire to leave the apartment. The emotional toll on both children and caregivers was palpable, as Stephanie felt the weight of the situation intensifying. “There were times when my mother and I truly wanted to give up,” she admitted.
Numbers Mean Nothing, Seeing Is Reality
As part of the home recovery program, Stephanie had to bring her daughter to KKH for a physical examination. It was in the waiting room, surrounded by other young children and infants, that the gravity of the situation truly hit her. The cries of children echoed in the air as medical staff scrambled to keep pace with the influx of patients. During her lengthy wait, she witnessed children being wheeled in on oxygen masks, a stark reminder of the pandemic’s impact.
“It’s horrifying to see just how many infants are affected by this,” Stephanie said. “The published numbers don’t convey the reality—it’s only when you’re there that you truly grasp the scale of the situation.”
During her time at KKH, Kassie noted the lack of accessible information regarding infant Covid-19 cases was not due to a deficiency of guidance but rather the fluid nature of the situation, leading to rapidly changing protocols. Many of the documents displayed in the hospital were hastily handwritten, highlighting the ongoing adjustments needed in response to the evolving pandemic.
Not Alone, Not Ever
Both mothers found solace in social media, where they discovered supportive communities. Telegram groups led by pediatricians provided free consultations, while platforms like SG Quarantine Order Support Group and Young Mothers of Singapore became invaluable resources. They credited these groups for providing essential information and emotional support during their toughest moments.
“It really takes a village to raise a child, and that extends beyond just immediate family,” Stephanie reflected. “At 3 AM, when you feel overwhelmed, that community support is a lifeline.”
Following their experiences, both Kassie and Stephanie are committed to giving back, sharing their stories in hopes of helping other parents navigate similar challenges. They readily stepped forward to share their narratives for this piece, demonstrating solidarity and strength in their journeys.
With Covid, It Pays to Remain Kiasu
Kassie remains concerned about the long-term implications of Covid-19 for Allie’s health, particularly regarding insurance coverage. “I worry about whether Covid will affect her respiratory system in the long run. There’s also a chance she may struggle to get insured or face exclusions for any lung or heart-related issues.”
She considers herself fortunate that Allie recovered without immediate complications. Stephanie’s family has also recuperated, though she mentioned lingering symptoms, especially a scratchy throat.
Long Covid has caused considerable distress for many adults, and the potential for chronic issues in young children looms large. The data indicates that children aged 0 to 4 are facing increasing rates of infection, underscoring the need for ongoing vigilance.
While masks are no longer mandatory and social distancing measures have eased, the risks for unvaccinated children remain, leaving parents feeling increasingly anxious as they seek to protect their little ones. Is it possible to resume normal life while safeguarding others?
