Finding Harmony Between Career Aspirations and Personal Life
As mid-April approaches and graduation project deadlines loom, I watch my friends scramble to finalize their papers and attend job interviews. I still have another semester to go, but the reality of this chapter closing is already sinking in. Soon, it will be my turn to step into the professional world.
During lunch last weekend, I discussed this with my sister, expressing my fears about never finding a job that would truly make me happy. She pointed out, with her own share of “Sunday Scaries,” that while I might not land my dream job, the key to happiness is ensuring that my job is just one part of my life. Really? Is that all there is to it?
When Reality Shatters Our Dreams
Perhaps I’ve set myself up for disappointment by expecting my future job to fulfill all my desires—engaging work, enjoyable colleagues, and a great work-life balance. The realization that this ideal combination is unlikely has left me dreading what lies ahead.
This disillusionment often hits hard when entering the workforce, as the realities of working life clash with our expectations. It’s not only about our aspirations; it’s also about the practicalities of the job itself.
CT (25) and TY (25), co-owners of the local ice cream business Man Tou Da Han, shared how their transition from school to work was a sobering reality check. For CT, starting her full-time job in the media industry frustrated her creative freedom compared to university. “Uni was a blast; we had the freedom to explore our creativity,” she recalls. In the workforce, however, she found that with KPIs to meet and superiors to please, work quickly became less about personal expression and more about delivering results.
TY, who works in the social service sector, feels similarly. “University gave us confidence in our contributions to society and our abilities,” he says. The self-initiated projects and creativity experienced in school led them to expect the same in their careers, only to discover that work often comes with constraints. “A lot of our dreams got dashed,” TY notes ruefully.
Navigating the Imposter Syndrome
I remember feeling waves of self-doubt during a previous internship, which dampened my spirits. I constantly questioned my capability to handle the steep learning curve or whether I was even qualified for the role.
Reflecting on those early months felt akin to playing Among Us—a frantic scramble to prove my worth while fearing exposure as the Imposter. In focusing so much on establishing my credibility, I ironically started to feel like the Imposter. This mindset of inadequacy became an exhausting challenge, leading to unhappiness and burnout.
David, 27, has worked in healthcare for about a year, but the panic from his job search still lingers. He worried about being competent enough even before landing a position. Once he started, feelings of self-doubt persisted: “Am I the right person for this job? Am I qualified?” CT recalls tying her work to her identity, making the struggle to assert her value even more taxing.
While imposter syndrome highlights areas for growth, it’s crucial not to berate ourselves for perceived gaps in competence. If we believe satisfaction comes only from reaching the next milestone, we risk perpetually chasing an unattainable perfection.
The Dream Job Fallacy
Work often involves more practicalities than passion—finance, logistics, and marketing play vital roles. We may deceive ourselves into thinking that if we follow our passion, we’ll never have to work a day in our lives. The truth is, some jobs can feel tedious, and that’s acceptable if we adjust our expectations.
David notes that “time becomes much more precious” once transitioning from school to work. While he finds fulfillment in his job, he also grapples with regret over lost time for hobbies and socializing. “You realize you can’t pursue your interests as freely as before,” he admits.
For many, hobbies may not translate into a steady income. The reality of working a 9-to-5 often leaves us struggling to balance work, social, and personal time.
Finding Balance Amidst the Sunday Scaries
Reframing our mindsets and expectations may help us navigate this challenging reality. Alexis, 23, works long hours as an auditor, sometimes even past midnight. To her, the demanding hours are part of the growth process. “I don’t mind the imbalance right now because I’m learning,” she says, viewing her job as a form of ‘schooling’ for her career.
Most of us aspire to excel at our jobs, but we have different thresholds for improvement. When the Imposter looms, some rush to perfection while others embrace it as a chance to grow. TY finds solace in the latter perspective. When she feels inadequate, she interprets it as a sign of her desire to improve.
Imposter syndrome doesn’t have to be debilitating; it can be viewed as an opportunity for growth. David learned to manage his expectations, reminding himself not to be disheartened when things don’t unfold as planned. Recognizing that clinging to unrealistic standards can hinder our exploration of new opportunities is essential.
Make Sacrifices and Seek Support
This doesn’t mean we should abandon our passions. Instead, as Alexis wisely states, “We need to understand what it takes to turn our passion into a job.” CT and TY began Man Tou Da Han as a creative outlet alongside their full-time jobs. Yet, CT finds herself making sacrifices, especially when her main job gets busy, impacting her side hustle.
It’s a compromise she dislikes, admitting, “Sometimes it feels like I’m half-assing things.” Yet, sacrifices are necessary if we want to pursue what we love, and we must weigh whether the rewards justify the trade-offs.
Cultivating mental resilience to shift our mindsets can be challenging, and it often requires support from those around us. “I wouldn’t say I enjoy my work, but I do enjoy my team,” Alexis confesses. Her supportive colleagues make the tough days bearable, reminding her that there’s still much to look forward to.
Work-life presents a spectrum of emotions, from dissatisfaction to contentment and self-doubt to excitement. While constant optimism may be unrealistic, adopting achievable expectations could lessen the blow of confronting the reality of work. We don’t have to love our jobs; we just want to avoid the Sunday Scaries every day.
