A humorous guide to the political lingo that’s been heating up Singapore’s political landscape.
SINGAPORE – As the heat intensifies in Singapore politics, it’s become clear that there’s a need for a definitive guide to the year’s political lexicon. Whether you’re young or old, it’s always the right time to expand your meme-worthy vocabulary with some of the more colorful phrases making their rounds in the political scene.
Fucking Populist
Definition:
To discredit an idea and insult a person’s character all at once.
Describes someone who shows excessive empathy for the common people, presumably for political gain (if you’re feeling cynical).
A term best kept in private, away from microphones, unless you want to end up in the crosshairs of Reddit users with too much time on their hands.
Example:
Unspecified Person A: “I think we should do more to help the poor!”
Unspecified Person B: “Fucking populist.”
Uncanny Coincidence
Definition:
When two equally unlikely events occur around the same time, and you just chalk it up to fate.
Example:
“But I leave you to draw your own conclusions on the—how shall I put it—uncanny coincidence vis-à-vis the timing.”
Sia Suay
Definition:
The Hokkien term for ‘embarrassment,’ often used to insult a politician’s character. Some Singaporeans claim they can’t tell the difference between a politician and a coffee shop uncle explaining why the Earth is flat.
Recommended usage:
“Leong Mun Wai is so sia suay that he can’t even make fun of himself online.”
“Be clear in what you are referring to as sia suay, or you risk a public spanking.”
Assisting Investigations
Definition:
A nicer way for media outlets to describe someone sipping free coffee in a room without windows while answering questions. They’re not really helping to craft the questions—just, you know, ‘assisting.’
Example:
The man, caught on tape running over a senior citizen’s foot in a toy car, is now assisting in investigations.
Bad Optics
Definition:
The term used to acknowledge that, while no wrongdoing occurred, public perception may still be negative due to the current circumstances.
Example:
“The bad optics of a politician claiming that you don’t need much space to have sex was laughable.”
Unparliamentary Language
Definition:
Politician-speak for using a ‘bad word’ in Parliament. It’s the adult version of the child who apologizes for saying ‘stupid’ in class.
Example:
During a heated debate, a politician reflexively used unparliamentary language. The real surprise is that it wasn’t Leong Mun Wai.
Hot Mic
Definition:
The political equivalent of accidentally sending a nude to your family members. When a microphone is left on, exposing your candid disdain for colleagues.
Example:
He unknowingly left the hot mic on and made a candid remark, sparking a Parliamentary-wide protest to replace all microphones with the ones used during the Workers’ Party Press conference.
Inappropriate Relationship
Definition:
A more polite way of saying two politicians are having an affair.
Example:
Unspecified Individual A: “I believe that this is an inappropriate relationship. Please stop what you’re doing.”
Unspecified Individual B: “But…but..good sir…it was consensual.”
Unspecified Individual A: “But you’re married.”
Extramarital Affair
Definition:
When a married person engages in an affair with someone other than their spouse. Especially used when opposition politicians are involved. If not from the opposition, simply refer to it as an ‘Inappropriate Relationship.’
Example:
The mentor was discovered to have had an extramarital affair with his mentee.
