“Focusing on systemic issues instead of targeting individuals is key to preventing similar tragedies.”
On January 21, 2022, Xavier Yap made a decision that left Singapore reeling. He strangled his twin sons, Aston and Ethan, both 11 years old, in a canal at Greenridge Crescent. The boys, who had autism and developmental delays, lost their lives in a tragedy too devastating to comprehend.
This week, the 50-year-old was sentenced to 14 years in prison for two charges of culpable homicide not amounting to murder. Details that emerged during the trial painted a heartbreaking picture of a father overwhelmed by despair.
The boys struggled in school and remained non-verbal despite entering mainstream education. Diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder and global developmental delay in 2017, their father feared they would be bullied and worried about their future after he and his wife were gone.
Believing that ending their lives—and his own—was the only way to relieve his wife of the “burden” of caring for them, Yap committed the unthinkable. He later lied to the police, hoping the truth would emerge and he would face the death penalty.
The Blame Game
In the aftermath of this tragedy, much of the public’s grief and outrage has been redirected toward Yap’s wife, even as she, too, mourns the loss of her children.
According to Yap, his wife had difficulty accepting their sons’ condition and had allegedly “given up” on them. In a letter read in court, he accused her of infidelity and inviting her lover to their home after the boys’ deaths.
Social media quickly turned into a courtroom of its own, with netizens lambasting the mother for her perceived failures. Comments ranged from accusing her of neglect to blaming her for the tragedy itself.
However, these judgments are based solely on Yap’s testimony, without input or clarification from his estranged wife. Such attacks not only ignore her grief but also risk spreading unverified claims that deepen her suffering.
Systemic Issues Require Attention
While it is human nature to seek someone to blame, this impulse distracts from addressing the root causes of such tragedies. Instead of targeting the boys’ mother, efforts should focus on systemic issues that could prevent similar incidents.
Despite improvements in Singapore’s special education landscape, gaps remain. The country now has 22 government-funded special education schools, with plans to increase this to 28. However, parents and educators often cite limited work and education opportunities for children with special needs.
Autistic university students, for example, face challenges integrating into higher education, while parents of children who don’t qualify for work-to-school programs live in constant fear of what the future holds.
Advocacy and Accountability
In February last year, Education Minister Chan Chun Sing addressed parliamentary questions about support for parents of special needs children. While he emphasized community solidarity as a vital resource, this is not enough. Families need tangible assistance, from improved funding for special education to broader social support systems.
This tragedy should serve as a call to action for systemic reform. Advocacy efforts should focus on increasing support for caregivers, improving access to resources, and creating a more inclusive society for children with special needs.
Balancing Empathy with Accountability
Empathy for Yap’s plight must not overshadow the gravity of his actions. While his struggles as a caregiver and his mental health challenges are evident, the lives of Aston and Ethan were cut short in a moment of desperation.
As a community, we must channel our grief into meaningful change rather than unwarranted blame. Supporting families facing similar challenges and advocating for systemic reform will honor the memory of the boys and help prevent future tragedies.
