Balancing career-driven lifestyles and relationship expectations, female high earners in Singapore share their perspectives on modern dating dynamics.
SINGAPORE: Female HENRYs (High Earners, Not Rich Yet) in Singapore are shedding light on their dating preferences, specifically their reluctance to date men who earn less than them. The discussion unfolded on a local online forum, sparking a range of opinions about income, values, and relationship dynamics.
Shared Values and Ambitions
For many of these women, it’s not merely about the paycheck. They emphasize that their potential partners must share similar values, work ethics, and ambitions.
One user explained that a man doesn’t have to earn more, but he must demonstrate confidence, self-esteem, and a commitment to building a future together. “The man must be worth it,” one woman said, reflecting the sentiment that disrupting their routines for a partner requires compelling reasons.
Another shared, “I value mutual respect, trustworthiness, and attraction over income. My partner earns less than me, but he’s hardworking and contributes equally to our shared responsibilities.”
These women often prioritize compatibility in personality and shared life goals over financial standing.
Independence and Contentment
A significant number of female HENRYs revealed they are content with their current lifestyles and are not actively seeking relationships.
“I’m happy as I am,” one woman said. “A relationship feels like it would only complicate my life with unnecessary drama.” Another added, “I don’t want to get married or have children. I enjoy my carefree life in my 30s.”
Experiences with Insecure Partners
Past experiences with men who reacted poorly to earning disparities were another common reason cited for avoiding relationships with lower-earning partners.
One woman recalled, “I dated someone who earned half of what I did, but he constantly made disparaging comments about my career and success.” Another recounted being shamed by a former date who, bitter from his failed business, projected his frustrations onto her.
Men’s Perspectives on Dating High Earners
The discussion also drew responses from men, who offered insights into why some high-earning women face challenges in dating.
One commenter observed, “Many career-driven women spend so much time working that they appear less approachable and are often unavailable for social activities.” Others noted that women’s strong drive and ambition could be intimidating or incompatible with traditional relationship ideals.
Another remarked, “It’s not about being intimidated. Some men simply prefer partners who embody softer, more nurturing qualities.”
The Complexity of Expectations
The conversation underscores the complexity of modern relationships, where income, values, and societal norms intersect. For Singapore’s female HENRYs, finding a partner isn’t just about financial compatibility—it’s about aligning lifestyles, values, and mutual respect.
The discourse reflects evolving gender roles and expectations in relationships, highlighting both the challenges and opportunities faced by individuals navigating career-driven lives while seeking meaningful connections.
