Navigating Identity, Stereotypes, and Acceptance as an Expat Child in Singapore
Would you believe me if I told you that there were aliens in Woodlands?
As a 7-year-old, I firmly believed that small, pale beings had quietly moved into large houses on a mysterious hill. It turns out, those “aliens” were actually the children of American expats attending the Singapore American School.
Growing up, I rarely saw these children at the same hangouts as my friends and me. They didn’t seem to fit in with Singaporean kids. I assumed they would have trouble making local friends. Now, fast-forward to 2024, I ask Elliot Wilcox, who moved from London when he was three, if he had any trouble integrating. To my surprise, he simply says: “Nope. No problem at all.”
The Expat Experience But could I really blame myself for thinking that we weren’t the most welcoming people?
The media often highlights Singapore’s xenophobic tendencies. Like the cyclical nature of the dengue outbreaks, anti-foreigner sentiments tend to resurface during difficult times. The pandemic was no exception, amplifying our already discriminatory views. Minister Grace Fu had to stress the importance of racial harmony during the Regardless of Race dialogue in response.
The “us versus them” mentality often stems from fears like “they took our jobs!”—a sentiment that’s been around ever since multinational corporations introduced expat packages. Surely, these attitudes would affect how locals treated expat children.
On top of local prejudice, expat children face their own set of challenges. They are sometimes stereotyped as spoiled and out of touch, fueled by their foreign accents, luxurious homes, and supposedly wild parties. These perceptions may lead to fewer opportunities for forming friendships with locals.
A National Youth Council (NYC) survey revealed that only 17% of Singaporean youths feel that locals and foreigners get along well. Expat children also face adjustment issues when uprooted from their familiar environment—a phenomenon known as Expat Child Syndrome.
Despite being welcomed by locals, expat children may struggle with mental health and identity issues as they attempt to form strong social connections. They are often trapped in what’s called the “expat bubble,” further separating them from locals.
So, how does Elliot, a product of this very environment, say he had no problems integrating?
Different, But Not Deterred What struck me most during my conversation with Elliot was how, contrary to my expectations, he and his friends from international school genuinely enjoyed their time in Singapore.
“I’ve never heard anyone say that they hated living in Singapore. Only that they loved it,” he says with a smile.
Elliot and his friends enjoyed the safety of Singapore, the abundance of activities, and the close-knit community. When they interacted with locals, they were treated well. He even made a few friends from local schools and recalls bonding over football. “You didn’t really see any difference between the two groups,” he says. “After you’ve spoken to anyone who is Singaporean, they sort of just understand. I’ve never had any issues.”
Elliot’s experience in National Service only cemented his sense of belonging. Being the only British guy among a sea of Singaporean faces was an eye-opening experience. Despite the stares, he made friends and was embraced by the local community.
His love for Singapore isn’t limited to its iconic landmarks. When I asked him about his favorite aspect of local culture, he lit up at the mention of neighborhood coffeeshops, not Gardens by the Bay.
Expat Child Syndrome But not all expat children have as smooth a transition. Julian, who moved from the U.S. at the age of 10, attended SOTA, a local school. While he didn’t face many social hurdles, he did struggle academically at first due to the higher level of difficulty compared to what he was used to in the U.S.
Unlike Elliot, who had grown up in Singapore, Julian had to start afresh midway through his childhood. But surprisingly, he didn’t have much trouble making friends. Ironically, the only person he didn’t get along with was another foreign student.
“I didn’t really have that much of a problem assimilating… within three months, or less than a month or two, it felt pretty normal,” Julian reflects.
A Welcoming Environment So, what made their experiences different from the struggles many expat children face?
Julian attributes much of his smooth transition to Singapore’s international atmosphere. Growing up in a diverse environment, with classmates from countries like Indonesia, China, and Israel, made it easy for him to feel at home. “I think that all helped to make it feel very easy to come here as an international person,” he says.
Singapore’s multicultural society plays a key role in making foreigners feel accepted. Its residents, used to interacting with people from all over the world, are more likely to embrace those who are different.
“By the time I left Singapore, I would have identified myself as Singaporean, almost more so than American,” Julian says. “That’s not changed since I’ve come back.”
Even though the challenges of adjusting to Singapore’s high cost of living still exist for foreign children, Elliot and Julian show that the social barriers are not as high as they are often made out to be.
The Expat Bubble That said, there are still some truth to the notion of the “expat bubble.” Many expat children don’t stay in Singapore for long, which naturally leads to them not fully integrating. It’s not uncommon to find them socializing mostly within their own communities. Some even live in neighborhoods where interactions with locals are limited, further reinforcing the bubble.
Despite these challenges, Elliot believes that if expat children make the effort to step out of their comfort zones, Singaporeans will welcome them with open arms.
A Not-So-Contrived Multicultural Singapore While anti-foreigner sentiments do exist, the experiences of expat children like Elliot and Julian show that Singaporeans are generally more accepting than we give ourselves credit for. Their stories highlight the positive impact Singapore’s multicultural environment has had in fostering understanding and cooperation among people of different backgrounds.
Singapore’s identity as a multicultural hub has shaped its people into being open-minded and welcoming to others. This has contributed to creating a safe and enjoyable experience for expat children, allowing them to thrive in an environment where differences are celebrated.
As I reflected on my own experience, I saw a group of expat children racing each other at the Woodlands Stadium track. Their laughter echoed through the stadium, a blend of Singlish and American accents, a reminder that despite the differences, we are all part of the same Singaporean story.
