A Journey of Exploration, Trust, and Intimacy
“Hi, we’re John and Mary, a married couple in our early 40s.
Her: 165 cm, 55 kg, fit and athletic.
Me: 178 cm, 65 kg, also fit and athletic.
We’ve been part of this lifestyle since 2018 and have enjoyed various experiences, including MMF, MMFF, and more. We’re DDF (drug-disease free), polite, and non-pushy. My Telegram is justpressplay123456789. Hope to hear from you!”
That’s typically how we introduce ourselves to other couples. Among the responses we receive, only a few lead to actual meetups, and even fewer result in genuine connections.
Mary and I have been exploring swinging for several years, and I feel partly responsible for initiating this lifestyle. It all began in 2018 when I started working out with a female ex-colleague in the evenings. My wife was understandably jealous and asked me to stop, but I resisted, believing there was nothing wrong with spending time with female friends.
Through numerous discussions with Mary, I realized my underlying issue: life is too short to have only one sexual partner. Mary was my first and only girlfriend, and I lost my virginity to her.
We met at university and took on odd jobs to save up for world travel after graduation. By 2010, we returned with enough funds and the intention to settle down. We married, bought a flat, and I started a business, living the typical Singaporean life—until I expressed my desire to explore relationships outside our marriage.
I craved new experiences but wanted to be upfront about my feelings. Rather than lie, I told Mary I would start exploring and warned her she could divorce me if she wished, but I needed to pursue this journey regardless.
While divorce is daunting, to me, marriage has always felt like just a piece of paper. A divorce wouldn’t have changed how I felt.
Once I confessed, my sexual exploration began. Some might label it depravity, but I believe that as long as two consenting adults are having fun without harm, there’s nothing wrong with it.
It started with encounters in Bangkok and Vietnam and included my first experience with a trans woman in Tokyo. I sought out thrilling experiences, such as a full dragon service—a multi-sensory experience in a Malaysian spa. Before business trips, I would research adult services, always ensuring to read reviews and verify legitimacy.
When Sex Workers No Longer Satisfy
As I began to have more sexual experiences, I likened paying for sex to dining out—quick and enjoyable but lacking any real intimacy. While physical release is natural, once you realize you can have sex with anyone, the desire for deeper connections emerges.
Many men enter sugar baby arrangements, hoping for more than just paid encounters, but I didn’t delude myself about that. I found that true intimacy couldn’t come from someone being paid to provide it. Eventually, I grew weary of solely engaging with sex workers. While enjoyable, it didn’t fulfill me long-term. I sought communities interested in casual encounters based on mutual attraction, leading me to discover Undertable, a swingers community in Singapore.
Mending a Broken Relationship
My first MMF (Male-Male-Female) meetup at a hotel was exhilarating. The other man, Tom, had an interesting kink—he loved to watch while his partner was with another man. After a brief session, I left feeling empty rather than fulfilled, despite the excitement.
Arriving home in the early morning, I found Mary in tears, drinking sake. She expressed her love and willingness to accept my lifestyle. I then asked if she’d join me in swinging, and she agreed.
Swinging Together
To ease Mary into this lifestyle, we opted for a gentle introduction with SRS (same room sex), where couples engage in sexual activity in the same space but keep interaction minimal. After connecting online, we met George, a mature man in his 50s, and his girlfriend. Watching them made us feel more comfortable to explore our own desires.
When we shifted to swapping partners, I discovered that Mary was more adventurous than I had anticipated. Throughout our experiences, maintaining open communication was crucial.
Finding Our Regular Couple
We eventually found a couple, Jacob and Madeline, with whom we developed a regular connection. They taught us the importance of communication and respect in our swinging lifestyle. Feeling comfortable with them, we became good friends and playmates.
Exploring Sexuality
This journey has enhanced our marriage significantly. I sought to understand sexuality beyond traditional norms, including exploring my desires with trans women. A memorable experience in Tokyo opened my eyes to the possibilities of pleasure beyond societal expectations.
Afterward, I encouraged Mary to try a threesome with a trans woman, and to my surprise, she enjoyed it. The excitement of exploration brought us closer.
What’s Next?
We’re uncertain about our next adventure—maybe a swinging club overseas or another encounter with Jacob and Madeline. However, our marriage has reached new heights of trust, intimacy, and communication through swinging.
Our priorities have always been unconventional; we focus on experiences over material things. We’ve agreed that if we ever stop loving each other, we’ll part ways.
I am grateful to swinging for fostering honesty in our relationship. We’ve learned to open up and listen to one another with understanding. As we age, we care less about others’ opinions, focusing instead on making the most of our time together before our “expiration date.”
In conclusion, our journey into swinging has deepened our bond, allowing us to embrace our authentic selves and pursue joy in our lives together.
