How one Singaporean-Philippine couple faced the challenges of terminal illness, supported by palliative care and enduring love.
SINGAPORE: Carla Siaco had never heard of “hospice” until her husband, Johnny Ng, was diagnosed with aggressive stage-four kidney cancer in 2022. As a Filipina unfamiliar with Singapore’s healthcare system and customs, she had to quickly adapt to provide care for her husband during his final months.
Their story is one of love, resilience, and cultural differences coming together in the most trying circumstances.
A Love That Crossed Borders
Carla, a supermarket supervisor, fell in love with Johnny, a logistics planner, through his thoughtful gestures and shared moments. From restaurant dates to scenic outings, Johnny’s kindness won her heart. After three years of courtship and cultural traditions delaying their marriage, the couple tied the knot in 2016, blending their lives and families.
Their happiness grew with the arrival of their son, Bryant, in 2022. However, their joy was cut short when Johnny was diagnosed with terminal cancer just months later.
Facing a Sudden Diagnosis
In late 2022, Johnny’s health deteriorated rapidly. A routine check-up turned into devastating news when doctors revealed his condition and estimated he had only a year to live. Carla recalls her heartbreak and confusion, questioning why their happiness was so abruptly taken away.
Determined to stay strong for Johnny, Carla juggled her grief and caregiving responsibilities, turning to alternative medicines and prayer for hope.
Learning About Palliative Care
When Johnny decided to spend his final days at home, the concept of hospice care was introduced to Carla, who had never encountered such services in the Philippines. With guidance from HCA Hospice, she learned to operate medical equipment, administer medication, and provide physical and emotional support for Johnny.
Carla was also supported by hospice staff who checked in regularly, offering moral encouragement as she navigated the challenges of caregiving.
Navigating Cultural and Emotional Complexities
Despite their love, cultural differences posed unique challenges. Language barriers required creative communication, while differing customs and beliefs demanded mutual respect. Carla adapted to Johnny’s practices, including honoring his ancestors and performing Buddhist rituals, even as she maintained her Catholic faith.
The emotional toll was immense, especially as Johnny’s illness affected his temperament. Carla leaned on advice from her relatives, who reminded her that illness could change both body and mind, urging her to cherish the time left with Johnny.
A Final Goodbye
In April 2024, Johnny passed away at the age of 58, leaving behind a legacy of love and resilience. Carla fondly remembers their last walk around Marina Bay Sands, a bittersweet moment of connection.
“Before he passed, he hugged me and kissed my hand. Now I understand it was his way of saying goodbye and thanking me,” Carla recalls tearfully.
Lessons in Love and Care
Carla credits palliative care with helping her care for Johnny in his final months. She encourages others facing similar challenges to explore hospice services, which can provide crucial support for families dealing with terminal illness.
Johnny’s parting words urged Carla to stay brave, a sentiment she carries forward as she builds a future for their son, Bryant, while maintaining ties with Johnny’s extended family.
“God gave us one more year to make memories together,” she says. “For that, I am forever grateful.”
