A Singaporean couple’s decision to save their first kiss for marriage sparks online debate.
SINGAPORE: “And now, would you like to kiss your bride?”
The moment was brief, but unforgettable. In front of their family and friends at Moulmein Church of Christ, Joye and Natthan Lee shared their first kiss as husband and wife. The kiss was quick, chaste, and pure – just as they had planned. The couple, both 23 years old, chose to save themselves and their first kiss for marriage.
In a world where pre-marital sex and physical intimacy have become the norm, their decision is one that many find surprising. A TikTok video capturing the moment garnered over 103,000 views, with a mix of supportive comments and harsh criticism.
When the video first appeared on Joye’s feed, even she had to double-check her caption. Indeed, this couple had chosen to share their first kiss in front of an audience. Despite the tender, joyous moment shared by the couple, the online response was a mixture of skepticism and mockery. Some commenters could not understand why anyone would wait, with remarks ranging from “What in the 1800s?” to “End up no experience, sex no good.”
In Singapore, where sexual liberation is on the rise, it seems like a romantic relationship without pre-marital intimacy is a hard concept to grasp. In the pursuit of sex positivity, can we overlook those who choose abstinence as part of their journey?
Married at 23: More Than Just a Kiss
For Joye and Natthan, their decision wasn’t based on repressive beliefs or societal pressures. They simply wanted to honor the commitment of marriage before sharing their most intimate moments. They met virtually during the pandemic through New Creation Church, and their bond grew stronger over time. In April 2022, they officially became a couple, and just over a year later, they tied the knot.
Joye explains that their decision to wait was not about rejecting physical affection. “We just chose to save the best for last, kind of like saving dessert for after the main course,” she says. The couple, who have been open about their relationship, enjoy emotional intimacy through long conversations, words of affirmation, and shared experiences.
The idea of waiting for marriage to kiss was something Natthan proposed early in their relationship. “My heart melted,” Joye says. “I didn’t expect him to suggest something like that, especially after he had been so eager to kiss me from the start.”
A Wholesome Love Story
Joye and Natthan’s decision to wait for their first kiss didn’t mean their relationship lacked affection. They enjoyed cuddles, hugs, and kisses on the cheek and forehead, proving that physical touch can be loving and non-sexual. Their relationship has blossomed through deep conversations and intentional actions, with both of them affirming each other’s worth.
For them, marriage isn’t just about the physical aspects; it’s about a shared emotional connection. “Marriage has given us the privilege to sleep and wake up together,” Joye says, reflecting on the joy of being able to share their lives in such a meaningful way.
Despite facing criticism from those who don’t understand their choice, Joye and Natthan remain unshaken. “There’s no shame in being a virgin,” Joye insists. Their love story is unique, and they’re proud of the way they’ve chosen to navigate it.
Challenging the Norms of Sex Positivity
In an age where sex is often glorified as a milestone in relationships, Joye and Natthan’s story challenges the notion that physical intimacy defines love. Their choice to wait has led them to build a relationship based on trust, patience, and mutual respect. They’re a reminder that every relationship is different, and there’s no “right” way to love.
As we continue to navigate the evolving conversation around sex and relationships, Joye and Natthan’s love story is a testament to the power of patience, commitment, and respect for one another’s boundaries.
