Examining the double standards and societal perceptions surrounding female libido.
What is it REALLY like to be a woman with a strong sexual desire? In some cultures, being a woman who seeks out multiple partners is frowned upon.
Extreme sexual desires transcend age and generational boundaries, according to the article. Men often find it threatening to have a woman who wants sex regularly, while they typically prefer it only a couple of times a week. Some men in sexless marriages have reported discovering their high libido only after having an affair.
On the other hand, a Gen-Z woman with a high sex drive asserts that her generation embraces it as a non-issue. This perspective draws parallels with Muhammad ibn Muhammad al-Nefzawi’s book, The Perfumed Garden of Sensual Delight, a 15th-century Arabic sex manual that discusses the qualities that make men and women attractive, offers sexual techniques, health warnings, and even recipes for treating sexual maladies. The book includes various names for male and female anatomy, dream interpretations, and descriptions of animal sex, interspersed with amusing stories.
While men who enjoy sex are often described as simply “being men,” the narrative shifts dramatically when a woman displays similar desires. Terms like “nympho” and “slut” are still used to label women with high libidos, even as the “double standard” has relaxed somewhat. The article highlights that sex-crazed women in Western society continue to be misunderstood.
Laila, a 30-year-old single woman, reflects on this dynamic. She feels that men pretend to welcome a sexually active woman but quickly become threatened by her desires. “At first, they’re all like, ‘Wow! You’re incredible. I love how much you enjoy sex.’ But when I want it more than they do, it shifts to, ‘There’s something wrong with you.’ We had sex earlier today. Why isn’t that enough?’”
Is this why some women have affairs? Perhaps their partners do not appreciate their sexual urges. Grace, a 46-year-old woman, shares her journey of self-discovery. At 13, she reveled in the idea of being seen naked by passersby, and by 16, she had lost her virginity, already experimenting with boys at a younger age. Despite her active sexual drive, her friends would turn her enthusiasm into a joke.
Through therapy, she confronted uncomfortable truths and eventually found a meaningful connection. “I didn’t want to betray him because I didn’t want to cause him pain. I’d figured out how to let someone in. That happened four years ago. We’re together now, and while I’ve been tempted, I haven’t gone astray. Our sex is enjoyable, but for the first time, it is not the focal point of our relationship or what defines me.”
