A Journey of Transformation and Empowerment
In a recent conversation with my Gen X mother, Jesley Kee, I found myself searching for the right term to describe the unfair expectations placed on women compared to men. “Do you mean gender discrimination?” she chimed in casually. I was taken aback; I never expected her to grasp such terminology.
This dialogue illuminated the profound change in Ma’s mindset, particularly as she transitions from over 20 years of homemaking to becoming a 7-11 store owner at 48 years old. Once a staunch believer in traditional gender roles, Ma has embraced a new perspective.
“I never saw it coming either. I always thought I’d be a housewife for life. But after owning this convenience store, I want to encourage women to be independent and earn their own keep instead of relying solely on their husbands,” she said.
Her 7-11 store is conveniently located across from Yishun Safra. On the night of our interview, she was busy restocking an almost empty shelf of chocolates. Curious about her earlier experiences with gender roles, I asked if she had faced any prejudices in her youth. Ma shared that she couldn’t recall any direct discrimination against herself as a female. In fact, she felt favored by her parents and older siblings as the youngest child in the family.
Indirect Brush with Gender Inequality
Ma grew up in Batu Pahat, Malaysia, surrounded by two older sisters and four older brothers. Her parents also ran a mama shop—an early form of a convenience store—which later evolved into an eatery as they found success selling home-cooked meals. She described the family’s labor, both in the business and at home, as a shared responsibility.
“If there’s a need, someone will fulfill it. We were all raised that way. Even traditionally feminine roles like cooking were enjoyable for me, not just chores. I loved helping my mom cook after school,” she recalled.
As she finished restocking the chocolates, Ma prepared a quick Biryani for dinner, continuing to share insights about her family life.
It became evident that while she personally did not experience direct discrimination, she witnessed its impact on others. Though everyone contributed to the family business and household tasks, her older sisters were expected to shoulder more responsibilities than her brothers. Her second-oldest sister faced strong opposition from their mother when she wanted to pursue a career in hairdressing.
Reflecting on this, Ma noted that it was less than a century ago when women gained access to education and jobs. Unfortunately, outdated stereotypes still linger in today’s society. “Your grandmother wanted the girls to stay home and manage the household because that’s what she was raised to believe,” Ma explained as she removed her meal from the microwave.
The Roles She Played
Ma met my dad, Miew, while studying for her diploma in Business Administration in Johor. After their marriage, Dad took on work in China, leaving Ma in Singapore to pursue office jobs.
As they settled into married life, Ma and Dad became Singapore Permanent Residents, bought a home, and welcomed their first two children. Eventually, Ma decided to quit her job to focus on raising us. Meanwhile, Dad continued his projects in China and supported his father’s new business venture.
“When your dad and I married, we never formally discussed our roles in building our family,” she reflected. “I was fine being a housewife because he was earning well. I could take care of you and your brother.”
Yet, Ma always longed for something beyond homemaking, whether through a job or business. As the children grew older, she returned to the workforce. However, balancing a corporate job with childcare proved challenging. Eventually, when Dad found a stable full-time position, Ma returned to being a homemaker.
During those years, she spent her free time sewing and baking, developing practical skills that would later aid her in becoming a franchisee. Encouraged by Dad, who supported her hobbies, Ma even started a small business selling her handmade items online.
Working Solo
When she became a convenience store owner, Ma faced new challenges head-on. The COVID-19 pandemic hit, and Dad was retrenched. While he sought new job opportunities, Ma stepped up to manage the 7-11 franchise to provide an alternative income stream.
“At first, it felt strange. There was a steep learning curve, and I felt awkward greeting customers,” Ma recalled. “Some were hard to deal with, but many were friendly. Some customers even bought meals for me. My supervisor, Mugun, was very patient, which made it easier to learn.”
Drawing on the social skills she developed through her previous small business, Ma thrived as she interacted with patrons. But she soon faced a new set of challenges when she had to manage the store independently.
Drawing Boundaries and Speaking Up
Ma recounted experiences with patrons who spoke to her rudely, often in a condescending manner. She recognized that, as a woman, she was sometimes viewed as an easy target. “If I were a man, would they have spoken to me that way? I don’t think so,” she said. “When they found out I was the owner, their tone changed. It’s like they initially saw me as someone they could bully because I’m a woman.”
To combat this, Ma resolved to be assertive and set boundaries. She learned that addressing unacceptable behavior was crucial, even if it sometimes provoked indignation from others. “At least I stood my ground,” she stated.
The Less You Know
While many resist change, Ma embraced it wholeheartedly. Today, she thrives despite facing difficult customers and has garnered praise from many regulars, even achieving the highest number of Yuu app downloads in her district for consecutive weeks.
Her journey reflects the reality that social issues like gender inequality are not solely defined by personal experiences. A recent survey by YouGov found that older women often underestimate the existence of gender disparity, primarily due to limited workplace interactions. Without Ma’s newfound experiences, she might have also perceived gender inequality as a myth.
Ma’s transformation from a traditional homemaker to a successful store owner is a powerful reminder of the importance of challenging societal norms. Her story illustrates that women, regardless of age or background, can pursue their careers and achieve financial independence.
My siblings and I never doubted Ma’s capabilities. She has always excelled in social situations, whether planning family trips or navigating unfamiliar cities. More importantly, she exemplifies the importance of encouraging women to be self-sufficient, contributing to a fairer society where everyone can reach their potential.
Ma’s journey serves as a reminder that it’s never too late to defy societal expectations and pursue one’s own path—one 7-11 store at a time.
