Exploring resilience through personal struggles, growth, and finding strength in vulnerability.
It took months for Shamen Yee to open up about her diagnosis. To friends and colleagues, the revelation of her triple-negative breast cancer came as a shock. Fiercely independent, Shamen initially withdrew, struggling to reconcile her debilitating condition with her self-reliant nature.
The turning point came when chemotherapy’s side effects hit her hardest, forcing her to reach out. Through social media, Shamen reconnected with her support system, reclaiming her autonomy over her cancer journey. Among the well-wishes and words of encouragement, the phrase “stay strong” resonated, though it felt both uplifting and isolating.
“Stay strong” was often well-intentioned but, at times, felt like a platitude, glossing over the complexity of her struggles. Still, she realized resilience wasn’t about ignoring pain—it was about acknowledging it, adapting, and moving forward.
The Weight of Strength
For Shawn Soh, resilience took on a different meaning during his battle with situational loneliness. Returning to Singapore after a decade abroad, he struggled to rebuild connections. Alienated by drifting friendships and daunted by the difficulty of forming new bonds in his mid-30s, Shawn turned to work as a distraction, spiraling deeper into depression.
It wasn’t until a friend encouraged him to show himself kindness that Shawn redefined resilience. He left his job to prioritize self-love, pursuing therapy and engaging in hobbies that reignited his sense of self. With time, he improved his self-image, set boundaries, and rebuilt connections, including a deeper relationship with his father.
“Strength doesn’t come from being numb and pushing through,” he reflected. “It comes from acceptance, vulnerability, and patience.”
A Journey to Acceptance
For Keane Low, “stay strong” has evolved from a phrase to a practice. Haunted by past experiences of invalidating others’ emotions, he now strives to acknowledge struggles with gratitude and empathy.
“Sometimes, people just need to hear, ‘Thank you for working so hard,’” Keane shared.
His personal growth involved overcoming hindsight bias and self-criticism, focusing on positive thinking and emotional regulation. By allowing himself to take things one day at a time, Keane discovered a more compassionate approach to resilience.
Finding Humor in Hardship
For Shamen, humor became her lifeline during the darkest days of treatment. Chemotherapy left her with severe physical and emotional side effects, but laughter gave her the strength to keep going.
“Humor cleanses the mind and resets you to try again,” she said.
Through therapy, mindfulness, and creative outlets like journaling, Shamen reframed her pain and emerged stronger. She now shares her journey with a smile, proving that resilience is not about enduring burdens but finding ways to lighten them—whether by seeking help, taking breaks, or adopting new strategies.
Redefining Resilience
Resilience isn’t about ignoring struggles or pushing through without pause. It’s about adapting, growing, and finding strength in connection and vulnerability. For Shamen, Shawn, and Keane, staying strong meant embracing their humanity, recognizing their limits, and celebrating the courage it takes to keep trying.
